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» Lieutenant Adventures 2021 Specials
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeFri Dec 24, 2021 10:23 pm by The Lieutenant

» Site Update
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeTue Sep 21, 2021 1:08 pm by The Poet

» Lieutenant Adventures Series 15
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeThu Aug 19, 2021 2:50 pm by The Lieutenant

» Something old, Something new...
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeSat May 22, 2021 4:58 pm by The Poet

» Lieutenant Adventures Teaser and Announcement
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeSat Jan 02, 2021 1:57 pm by The Lieutenant

» Lieutenant Adventures 2020 Specials
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeFri Nov 13, 2020 5:49 pm by The Lieutenant

» Lieutenant Adventures Series 14
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeWed Aug 19, 2020 10:53 am by The Lieutenant

» Lieutenant Adventures Series 13
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeSun Sep 29, 2019 11:45 am by The Lieutenant

» Lieutenant Adventures Prequel 25 June 2019
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 25, 2019 11:21 am by The Lieutenant

» Lieutenant Adventures 2019 Specials Part 1
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeTue Jan 22, 2019 12:14 pm by The Lieutenant

» Lieutenant Adventures Series 12
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeSun Oct 21, 2018 12:09 pm by The Lieutenant

» Lieutenant Adventures Announcement - A Death has Occurred.
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeWed Mar 14, 2018 6:52 am by The Lieutenant

» Susan and the Lieutenant
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeWed Jan 10, 2018 7:22 pm by The Lieutenant

» Susan Campbell
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeMon Dec 11, 2017 7:45 pm by The Lieutenant

» Hullo, new here!
Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeSun Dec 10, 2017 8:46 pm by Susan Campbell

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Bad Wolf Roleplay  :: Roleplay :: Roleplay Help :: Roleplay Help/Brainstorming
 

 Practice for Poet #!

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2 posters
AuthorMessage
The Seeker
Member
Member
The Seeker


Posts : 17
Join date : 2014-12-30
Age : 27
Location : Miami, Florida

Character sheet
First Character:
Second Character:
Third Character:
Practice for Poet #! Empty
PostSubject: Practice for Poet #!   Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeWed Dec 31, 2014 3:24 pm
Okay, better to start earlier then later, no? So, this is a creature app. Tell me whats wrong with it, if anything, and possible ways to fix it.


" />
Name: The Malaagans

Appearance:Humans In space suits and no head inside the helmet cyborg like

Attitude: The Malaagans
are tyrant powermad race thats cousummes planets for resoureces and energy

Technology: They inventid forcefields and are 2000 years over the humans

Backstory:The Malaagans are born evil and are just like the daleks/galactus (kinda)



Present: The Malaagans Strive to become gods (like gods) (sorry)

Homeworld:Kaldra a very hot planet kinda like mars and galifrey  (looks)
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The Poet
The Potato
The Potato
The Poet


Posts : 355
Join date : 2014-04-12
Age : 23
Location : In the TARDIS

Character sheet
First Character: The Poet
Second Character: Sadie Grayson
Third Character: Piper Falls
Practice for Poet #! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Practice for Poet #!   Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeThu Jan 01, 2015 1:21 pm
Thank you for this application. However, there are a few things that will need to be fixed before I can accept it.

1) Are the Malaagans actually humans, or do they just look like aliens? Please explain their appearance further.
2) How exactly do the Malaagans consume planets? Do they have some sort of energy that wraps around the planets? How exactly do the planets give them energy? Is it kind of like their food?
3) Why are the Malaagans powermad tyrants? What exactly happened to make them this way?
4) How did they invent forcefields? Please explain.
5) What new kinds of technology do the Malaagans have? In what ways are they 2000 years over the humans?
6) What made them evil? What happened to make them feel this way? In what ways are they like the Daleks?
7) Why do they strive to become gods, and more importantly, HOW?
Last but not least, make sure your homeworld Kaldra is already an accepted planet.

Thank you!
-Poet of Admin staff Very Happy
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The Seeker
Member
Member
The Seeker


Posts : 17
Join date : 2014-12-30
Age : 27
Location : Miami, Florida

Character sheet
First Character:
Second Character:
Third Character:
Practice for Poet #! Empty
PostSubject: Re: Practice for Poet #!   Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitimeFri Jan 02, 2015 10:40 pm
Very good. I'm glad you used the question format of helping the person create a better app, instead of just stating what they did wrong. It gets them thinking and on the right track. You were very direct and polite, which is good.

There were also some other points you could of brought up (I'm not saying that it was bad you didn't...but these are some big ones that should be kept in mind by everyone)
-Grammar/spelling is very important for rp-ing. Be sure to keep in mind as you go over the rp.
-Be informed about what you say. Mars has no atmosphere, so can't be hot,and Gallifrey had different climate zones much like Earth. Also, various species developed forcefields over time. You can, however, say, they were the first species to have that technology.
Main thing to take from those is grammar and be informed.
So yeah, good job Poet!
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PostSubject: Re: Practice for Poet #!   Practice for Poet #! I_icon_minitime
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