Paulo

(Just going to make a quick car now because the other I made got deleted cause internet. Love from eliasw123)
Character Name: Paulo/The Trader
Image: Profile Pic
Species:Human
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Height: 1.80
Figure: Slim/What's shown in the picture
Eyes: Hazel
Hair: Brown and I don't know
Personality:Paulo is protecitve of his things and is a realist
Job: Merchant/Trader selling/buying/trading with every and any creature/being
Family: Paulo had a mom and a dad, but they died of old age
Home world: Earth
Likes/Dislikes: Loves: Pie, Trading, Using money Hates: Unloyal
customers,Rivals
Strengths/weaknesses: Good at: selling stuff, charisma, lying Bad at:
dealing with conflict, dealing with problems

Dream: Paulo's dream is travel in time

History: Paulo loved everything.. until the war started.. WW3 it ravaged the entire world and destroyed millions of lives including Paulo's killing of relatives and neighbors, friends
But then "luckly" he was sent to a trading post a huge one too, but on the trip his parents died when they were 80 year olds, when he arrived he was taken in by a group of traders and after years of trading he become a lone trader


Roleplay Example:
I walked down the hallway... slowly
I could hear the howling of the wind outside... It was fierce.. the wind just like the sun and the forces of nature.. I have always loved the wind.. I was interrupted in my thinking.. a woman with an angry voice.. I took some time to realise what she was saying and to whom.
She was speaking to me. Of all the people in the long hallway, she spoke to me.. There had to have been over a hundred people in the hallway... But then I realised.... This was the God complex.............. This.. This was my room

Hey, welcome to the site, sorry for not replying earlier. It was my birthday recently, and I've been quite busy. I only had time to glance at this before I had to leave. There's a few things that I'd need fixed about this application, though.

1) You never quite filled out your personality, please try to fix that.
2) If you could, perhaps you could set your character's image as your profile pic? That link cannot be clicked, so I cannot actually see your character.
3) I don't really understand how he is a merchant/trader for every living creature, your history never explains how he managed to get that job. Please explain more about how he came across that line of work.
4) Your history is lacking detail... please expand on the things you already have there, just adding more details.
5) Your roleplay example. I would suggest that you take some time to look around the site more, read some old roleplays that are completed, take a look at other people's accepted characters to understand what I'm exactly looking for, just try to understand the site a bit more. Your roleplay example should look more like a part of a book than some kind of chat site rp.

If you can edit these things, in your original post, that would be amazing! Once these things are fixed, just reply "Fixed" to this thread and I will look it over again. Thanks!


-Poet of Admin staff

Most of the stuff I listed, you did a pretty good job of fixing those up, but your roleplay example is still not quite what I was looking for.

Did you go and check out other member's roleplays? I think that would help you out a lot. Once you've done that, let me know!

Thanks,

-Poet

Done.

That was a cool RP example! Just letting you know, however, that we don't usually roleplay quite like that, but it's an awesome start! I'm sure that once you start roleplaying with us on the site, you'll get the hang of it in no time!

Accepted!

-Poet

Yay!